i wish i were a sahm.
Posted on April 1, 2009
Yesterday was awesome.
Did I break the rules?
Twice.
Once during the day to just sort out emails I needed to answer today (when you get 20+emails a day that need replying and 30+ that don't, it takes forever to sort them and reply so I wanted to save myself a little time)… but I didn't answer a one or read blogs! I was on for 10 minutes sorting during naps.
And once at 9:30pm when I simply couldn't work any longer and I turned the tv on.
I could have stopped and read a book, but I inhale books so I stopped reading books for pleasure last year when i put off work for 3 days and I inhaled a novel. So I found myself just NOT stopping yesterday. I was either playing or working from 6am-9:30am and without the tv or computer to force me to sit down, I just didn't. And finally at 9:30pm my feet started hurting!
I got SO much accomplished though! OH MY CLEAN HOUSE! And I had a great time playing! We had TWO playdates yesterday if you can believe it! Something I NEVER do!
BUT, with no computer I got behind on work which sucks big time.
The most interesting thing I've found is that TODAY, while PLUGGED IN, we still didn't watch ANY tv at all (it is 9pm and I haven't even stopped working to watch Lost!) and I have been SO disciplined about working and not blog reading!
There is SO much on my mind to say. So much. And I took photos to document what we did of course, at least some of what we did. But they aren't on here yet.
The biggest thing I came to find though was this longing in my heart to be an official stay-at-home-mom. I would be an amazing sahm! We'd do montessori inspired work, we'd do a million art projects (b/c I have a million ideas I rarely have time to implement), we'd go on more outings and have more playdates, I'd keep up with laundry and have a clean house!
On a daily basis I have to choose between work and kids or work and house or work and laundry. WORK is always needing me, pulling at me, and vice versa. I think about Jodified ALL THE TIME. New ideas, things to change, my to do list, etc. My brain never stops.
Until yesterday. Yesterday I enjoyed my friends and their kids, I sat on the floor and played with the doll house we got the girls for P's birthday (last Nov) and have never played with, we built a zoo for the doll house people to visit, I did an art project with my two girls and an added 2 year old in the mix, I did laundry, I kept up with the house, I SHOWERED, and so much more. Yesterday I was able to STOP being Jodie Allen of Jodified and JUST BE MOM. And I loved it.
If only we had tons of money and I could afford for this to be a hobby and not a job that makes our ends meet.
I have people tell me all the time to SLOW DOWN, enjoy my kids, stop working so much, and let my business grow slowly. What they don't understand is that I can't allow it to grow slowly. We need extra money NOW. We need to pay rent and pray that someday we can afford to buy a house. We need to feed 5 people. We need to diaper two kids and buy pull-ups for the other. Three kids are expensive and teachers don't make enough!
Anyway, it was good and bad being unplugged. The day was amazing. Loved every second of it. The taste of a life I can't have was hard. But the best part is that it showed me that IT IS OK to step away for a while and today when Bailey woke up before the others at nap time, and I normally would have put a movie on for her so I could keep working, I instead sat down and did an art project with her. Just her and I. She doesn't get much mommy time like that and it was awesome.
If nothing else, I encourage you to try it! Cheat if you need to since I did, but just try it. I wonder what it would teach you to step away from?
Photos tomorrow, I promise! And less mind wandering posts this week! HA!
