anyone?
Posted on September 27, 2007
Tonight was supposed to be a good night. And it was. Loved The Office and ER… sad that my friend Tracy had to tape Grey’s for me since we don’t have a VCR or Tivo/DVR and they had to have The Office and Grey’s on at the same time. Got to grade tests for Chris with him which was fun. Spent a little while relaxing and reading blogs I love before starting work. That was at 10pm. Now I’m just sitting here feeling a little sad.
Please don’t hear me say that I’m not thankful for all that I have. I’m just so tired. Do you know that when your husband works 12-14 hour days, you’re starting your own business, you work for your parents, you volunteer at church and you have two babies in diapers that you don’t sleep much?
Lately my life has been about work. Which is amazing. If I didn’t have kids, and could wake up every morning to put in a 10 hour day, I would be cruising along and totally enjoying my creative life. I would love every second of it! But when you add the kids in there it all is just so different. Do you know that Bailey and I used to paint almost every single day? We also worked on "school" multiple times a day, which was everything from learning colors, letter and numbers, to reading, outside time, etc. Do you know how much Elmo she watches now just so I can get some work done? And little Parker will actually sit and watch the tv too b/c it’s been on so much lately. She’s 10 months old! The fact is, I just can’t get all my work done at night when the kids go to bed, while keeping up with the housework and everything else.
Where is the balance? And how do I find it? I want to be, more than anything, an amazing mom. And I want my girls to learn from watching me live my life that anything is possible if you work towards achieving your dreams. But how can they watch me do that if I’m sitting in my office all day while Elmo babysits?
Jodified is such an amazing blessing in my life. I’ve never actually worked at something that fulfilled me. In the next two weeks I have something like 13 photo shoots scheduled! For a mom with sub-par equipment, an old computer, and no time… my business is starting to take off! But somewhere in there I have let go of being a good mom and that makes me want to cry. Aside from winning the lottery and hiring someone full time to watch the girls, I just don’t know how to do everything and do it all well. And not just well. Who wants to run their business WELL or mother their children WELL? You want to do it all GREAT.
Any thoughts? Any advice? Anyone want to come edit some photos while I play with my kids? Or put away the mountain of laundry that has taken over my bedroom while I paint with my girls? Anyone need a whole pile of Elmo videos so I am forced to turn off the freaking tv? Anyone?
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new carpet
Posted on September 26, 2007
After that freak and terrible storm a while back my parents house is finally getting back on track… new carpet throughout, refinished hardwood floors, refinished bar, new windows, etc. Still a few things to finish, but mainly now it’s all about putting things back and living again.
So that’s where I’m headed today (to help mom carry and unpack boxes) with Parker after we drop Bails off at school and get me a BIG Mnt. Dew from Bread Co… it was a late night last night working! Have a great and productive day!
And really fast… how happy is everyone that shows are NEW finally?!? So excited for tv right now!
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